Saturday, November 20, 2021

Nature Finds a Way to do DEV-Ops

Saturday morning, at an ungodly* hour the Pagerduty for Indra DEV (ID) buzzes, "Tomatoes"

After a quick triage of the system dashboard, ID pings Surya DEV (SD).
SD: "Dude, do you know the time, and that too on the weekend ?"
ID: "Tomatoes are 120/kg, and rising fast"
SD: "You rained on their parade, so you can stop it."
ID: "I did stop. And I never thought I would say this, but there is too much water. So you need to deploy a fix."
 
---------------------------------
Down to Earth
Me (Stepping in, while Wife is on a Zoom with family seniors) : "I had a lovely ride. Most Lakeview Layouts are now proper lakes, and look who is laughing, not the builders, though not my drive train either, with half a kg of mud on it now."
Wife, Sarcastically: "And quite a bit on the floor as I see."
Family seniors Zooming in on me- "Why is he still riding, did we not tell you what Dr DEV-I said about exercising ?"
Skeptic Son: "Nana, how do you know it is true ?"
FS: "We got it on WhatsApp ! And from 5 different people, before you ask."
Skeptic Son senses defeat, and like any wily teenager switches the topic and dons his other Avatar.
Eco-Activist Son:  "What about the elephants ?"
Me: "Saw only one"
Son: "Yay !"
Wife: "Whaaat ?"
Me: "Dont worry it was a playful little baby elephant."
Wife,Hysterically: "Dont you know the mother could come rushing at you any time ?"
Via the Zoom: "..We told you ...reckless fellow..."

---------------------------------
Meanwhile back at the DEV Bhoomi 
 
Since the fight between ID and SD was getting ugly, they decided to appeal to the DEV Manager (DM).
 
DM: "Whats the matter ?"
ID: "Tomatoes"
DM: "Ahh, say no more."
SD: "Why do they need Tomatoes ? Let them stop eating so much Pasta and Pizza. Italians are ruining the country. And ID, Good job on turning the Roman themed villas with the Faux Brandenburg gate into a replica of Venice.
ID: "Not the Faux-Italians, the Punjab De Putter need their Butter Chicken to celebrate the recent developments."
SD: "Did you forget the lesson you were painstakingly taught, at Gowardhan Parwat ? Did you find Sanskari Cows underneath it, or these South American Nightshades ? And why do you think it is called Butter Chicken, and not Arrabiata Chicken ?"
ID: " I admit I overdid the rain, but now you need to make things Sunny Side up"
SD, Darkly: "Not possible, we are still in Waterfall mode, you had insisted this is the best for us ?"
DM: "Stop bickering. We need to be agile and do DEV-Ops. And the payoff ? Forget Crypto, Tomato is the asset class that will protect us in this inflationary environment. Even SHIB does not go up 3 X in a week. Imagine the volatility, we can control both supply and demand, and manipulate markets even better than what the Weedy 420 guy does !"

They setup a DAO, and issue some NFTomatoes's. ID Batters, and SD betters their commits at regular intervals to ensure CVI and VIX are "Managed".
-----------------------------------
Back on Earth, the interplay of the sun and rain made it a beautiful ride.
 
Here's the baby elephant.
 I stopped to take some pics, and put my helmet down to enjoy life at Snails pace !
At the top of the climb was an abandoned quarry brimming with water, shimmering like a Scandinavian Fjord.
Sunrise over the Lakeview Layout turned back to lake.
 
If you are wondering about the Java Fish Fry- All washed away, like the road next to it, and the 5000 Cr worth Bitcoin boosted in Bengaluru.

* Why Ungodly- to clearly establish that Gods and DEV's have nothing in common. Any such insinuation is the machination of the readers dark mind.



Sunday, October 03, 2021

Cycling Elephants and Fishy Fables

I did the Kagglipura-Harohalli-Jigani loop around the periphery of the Bannerghatta National Park yesterday, felt good to do a Long Ride and Long Write After a Long Break.

Me-Triumphantly: "I climbed non-stop from Harohalli to Jigani, and without even using the Granny Gears!"
Wife: "So you are finally a Cycling Yogi?"
Me: "No, it is the hand of God."
W: "Midlife crisis turning you into a Religious nut, or a football fan?"
Me: "Actually God-Curry's men flattened the climbs in improving the road for truckers."
Eavesdropping Eco-activist son: "What about the Elephants?"
Me-Flippantly: "I did not see any."
Son, using his 6'3" advantage and towering menacingly over me like a nightclub bouncer "You know what I mean, that stretch is an elephant corridor."
Me "Yes, they have put a board saying animals have right of way. Though I am no sure if it is easier to teach the elephants or the motorists, to read and respect the board?"

At top of the final long climb I start seeing things, maybe the granny gears should have been used. I stop to take a breath and drink some water, but the apparition still persists, I see a Goa style shack with a poster advertising "French Java Fish Fry", with images of happy Chinese kids below it.
Son "You boomers, Nobody Uses Java any more."
Wife helpfully adds "Maybe it is some AI ML powered micro targeted marketing campaign by the Karnataka Tourism week, targeting Visitors from French Polynesia ?"
 


Once the climbing is over, starts the "Farmhouses a short drive from Bangalore" zone just before the Jigani Industrial area. Despite the flat terrain, my hallucinations are getting worse. I pass a replica of Berlins Brandenburg Gate, with a poster "Your Gateway to Rome, welcome to Mahaveer Roman Villas."
Something snaps, and I take a sharp left onto the road less traveled.
And discover a fabulous route next to the Ragihalli forest, with some very sharp descents and climbs. Had to resort to the Granny Gears, and in the final surrender,  walked the last 50 meters to the top when granny gears+ zigzagging also proved too tough.

The morning after, I am still weak kneed and sore, but "Kya Karein, Control nahin hota, Yeh Dil Maange More."





Saturday, June 06, 2015

Fun on The Run @ Forty

On the Bangalore 10 K run eve, my son made an interesting comment,"Looks like you get faster with age ! "
Me: Lets see, linear improvements are hard, unless you are Ashok T(eenage) old man who does it effortlessly each time !

Shivering in the pre-dawn chill, I got onto my trusty commute cycle and had a nice ride down to the Kanteerava Stadium. The overnight rain had sharpened the heady aroma of Cassia and Gulmohar Blooms on route, and I was partly thinking, this is so blissful, I just go on riding and ditch the run. Bangalore is so blessed, we need to cherish and protect it all we can !

Met yoga buddy Rajesh, and started the run with him. He set a nice pace, and I followed, to my shock and delight (short lived alas !) , we were on the 50 Min bus !
Of course the running gods were watching. Doing a 50 requires some dedicated practice, you cant simply stroll over (unless you are Anil Kadsur !) once a year and fake it. 3 Km into the run, my breathing was getting ragged, and I had a severe stitch in the side, forcing me to slow down to a crawl for the next couple of km, clearly shows up on the official graph. 

Rajesh had disappeared in the distance, I saw him again at one of the turns, he was about 300 mtr ahead, and I hoped to catch up with him. Of course I never saw him again till the end, and I had an epiphany. You never catch up with people who are just a few km ahead when you are cycling, and same happens with a few hundred meters in running.

Met Chiddu at the end point, he narrated a similar tale, he started off with the 45 bus, and had to slow down. Our take, with cycling we are used to slow and steady starts, we should stick to that, and then go full throttle later in the run.

Had a relaxed ride back home, crossed Rohan and a few other fixie fiends out on a morning ride near Lalbagh.

And for the curious cats, the Timing was a full minute off my last year PB , finishing today with 55:06. 
Silver lining was the chronological bump into the halfway to the grave slot (40+) gave me a nice 123 rd place in the 40+ category, with overall rank of 1088/7772  !

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Yell"Aah"Giri 300 Km Brevet: With Poetic License

The Yelagiri climb has 14 Tamil poets gracing the 14 hairpins, and is hence called the 14 Poets Brevet.
On 19th Dec 2014, I did my third Yelagiri climb ,it is captured here with poetic license, in three parts.

Rising to the Occasion: Yelagiri Climb

5 Am,Temple At the base of Yelagiri Hill
Bells pealing, breaking the pre-dawn still

Nice and easy conquering One to Five
Round pedal strokes powering the drive

By the Sixth starts the sweat
Drip dropping from the Helmet

Seven is the halfway mark
The climb is no longer a lark

Next up is a relatively easy 8
After a long grinding straight

Rounding the 9th something that brings me cheer
Not yet having to resort to the Front Granny Gear

The elevation board tells me 888 mtr is the 10th,
Another 150 mtr to the top, requires mental strength

Negotiating the tricky turn at eleven,
Thinking a break would be Heaven

At the 12th, strong aroma from the eucalyptus grove
Two more to go, to get to the breakfast treasure trove

While climbing, Number 13 is completely invisible
On the previous two rides, the wait was interminable

Stunning Sunrise at the top of 14
What a lovely climb this has been

Swift descent, scattering Monkeys sitting in a Huddle
Including a cute baby and Mum in a loving Cuddle

To the Base and Back : Day and Night : Bliss goes Amiss

Silent Night, Blinking Cat eyes in the Road are Magic
Blaring horns and a zillion vehicles, Mundanely Tragic

Dogs growling and rushing us at the slightest chance
In daylight, Not even a contemptuous second glance

No Moon, millions of stars twinkling in the firmament
Blue sky, shimmering mirage on the gravel pavement

Descending fast, Shivering in the winter night chill
Shoolagiri ascent, midday sun, the Sweaty uphill

Sums up, the resident literary critic

If you think you are a profound Poet
I can tell you definitely not Yet
You may think your poetry is swell
Look again, it is Definitely Doggerel

Sunday, November 30, 2014

b1b200 Brevet

b1b200 Brevet: BasVanBetta aka Bas Kar Bet(t)a

I was at the base of the hill, the 11 % starting gradient staring me in the face. 
With 450 mtr elevation gain in just 5 km , this was going to be very tough. The Phone rang:
Wife " Hi , where are you"
Me " About to attempt the Betta, it looks difficult"
Wife "I can make it easier"
Me(snarkily) " You will remote coach me to Round pedal, maintain advanced Pranayamic breathing and conquer the Betta with a serene smile ? "
Wife " You are not evolved enough as a rider and a yogi to do that, for you simple shock therapy will do"
Me (starting to gasp due to the steep start of the climb) " Whatever"
Wife " You forgot, it is our anniversary today "

She was right, suddenly the Betta looked like a very small problem to tackle !

Each brevet ride turns out to be different, but this one was even more so. I have been volunteering on Brevet efforts, but this was the first ride I was organizing. This meant a lot of prep went into the route planning, multiple reccees and finetuning the route, so I rode bits of the route 3 times, and once completely on the Organizers ride.

The organizers ride consisted of Me, Sunil and Abhijit. We started off at 5:30 am from Silkboard and quickly made our way to the scenic Harohalli-Jigani stretch. The sunrise over the low hills was mesmerizing, and the crisp morning breeze was invigorating. We got to Sathnur and had a nice breakfast of Thatte idli/ Lemon rice and refilled our bottles. We got to the base of the climb and that is when the phone rang..
The sounds of silence on the climb are wonderful, birds twittering, the faint sounds of tires squealing on the gravel at corners, and later on the hammering of my heart beat, and labored breathing. Of course I knew this was nothing compared to the silent treatment I would get back home !

The sun was out in its full glory, and there is no tree cover on the climb. As I started climbing slowly, a grasshopper jumped onto my handle bar and stayed there till almost the top, when the sweat raining down from my forehead made it jump away. The climb has signposts that are in Bike precision at 3.875 mtr , 2.875 km etc, telling you how agonizingly slowly you are climbing, and the speedometer refuses to get into double digits. At points, I felt walking might be faster than riding. To motivate myself, I conjured up a vision of how Cycle Baba aka Anil Kadsur would do, and Mudit Sethi created a brilliant sketch of it which we used as the promo poster for the ride. 


The bikers bravado prevailed and I rode without stopping, 40 min later I was at the top, savoring the tranquil surroundings waiting for the fellow riders to come up. The downhill was more painful that the uphill, with me hanging on to dear life on the steep descent, brakes jammed hard on many of the sections, but it got over in just a few min.
The ride back to Kanakapura was under hot and humid conditions, we stopped for full meals at Gokul, and then quick stops for the ATM controls and water/Lassi in Harohalli, Jigani and reached the end control.

Now to get back to where it all started. The anniversary call. Well it did not end right there. 
Wife: "Dont worry I forgot the anniversary too, and when my parents called up and wished me, I asked them what for?" 
Me "Thank god".
Being Married for 14 years, and having known each other for 28 makes it easier to focus on making each day count, rather than waiting for a "special occasion." It takes two to forget as they say.

Saturday, November 01, 2014

Kottai 200 Brevet Ride Report : The Ad Hoc Train

Kottai 200 Brevet Ride Report : The Ad Hoc Train

I was huffing and puffing up the slope, in granny gears when I saw the Sign. I was stunned. Maybe I was hallucinating , but on second thoughts, hallucinations happen on the second night of sleep deprivation on long rides, not on a mere 200. Maybe I had misread due to the sweat pouring into my eyes. I turned to the other 3 venerable members of the Ad-Hoc train. They could see it too. On a 7 % gradient up-slope near Rayakottai was the board
 " Go Slow. Dangerous Curves " 

 I gasped out "I am trying" , while Sunil quipped " I am just trying to go, damn the slow". 

I have been lazy about writing up the rides lately, restarting after a years gap so many of the 2014 memorable rides like the Yellagiri 400, Anchetty 200 are missing. Hope to be more regular this riding season.The Season starter Kottai 200 ride fulfilled all the criteria I have for a prefect brevet ride: scenic route, pleasant weather,good food and great company. It is a beautiful route, with good road surface, and we were fortunate to have cloud cover till 10 am and after 3 pm. I had a great set of people in the Ad-Hoc train, with lots of interesting conversations, and ample breaks to enjoy the view, and the eclectic menu items like farm fresh peanuts and tamarind of the trees.

The start was very smoothly managed by the organizer and volunteer group of Sandeep,Anita,Arvind,Sohan and Karthik, with some nice innovations around queue management. The 78 riders were processed smoothly,and we started off on time.
When the ride was announced, one group decided to do a super quick ride in 50 % of allotted time, and called themselves the Superfast express, with plans to have no halts, and just slowing down to eat on the go. As expected, the immediate rejoinder to that effort was the announcement of the Super Slow IVC special train, which promised to stop every hour for Idli/Vada/Coffee. And then for the undecided there was the WTF express. I had no plans to join any of them, but luckily I fell into my own Ad-Hoc train.

The big bonus for me was riding with the ad-hoc train,which as the name suggests was completely unplanned, we all started at different times, we came together at Hosur and then rode all the way to the finish chatting and reminiscing of the old times.The Gang consisted of Chiddu,Mudit and Sunil, ,it was a lot of fun chatting and riding together, all of us have roughly the same pace and outlook on riding and enjoying the scenery. Thanks guys for the great riding company and stimulating conversations. 

Bangalore -Krishnagiri was a fast descent , got to the control at 8:45 and had a nice breakfast of fluffy idlis. Then we rode past the lovely Krishnagiri lake, with a fresh cool breeze helping us make good progress on the gentle climb towards Rayakottai. There were fruit orchards on both sides, with papaya, cheeku on the trees, and some lovely flower cultivation patches of Dahlias too.The Tamarind Tree lined stretch  was like the Pernambut part on the KGF300 , it brought back interesting memories, I have finished KGF 300 the last 3 years with each of the ad-hoc train team one by one, and we had a good time chatting about some of the details of the rides. 

Rayakottai- Bevanatham was a bit slow, with the sun coming out, and the road being patchy in a few places. A few village kids very kindly offered us peanuts, freshly pulled up from their fields. It is always amazing to see the zest and joy kids show when they meet riders, it cheers up the lot too. We took a nice long break at the Bevanatham board control at Noon, with some hydration, snacks, and stretching. One bad side of the brevet riders who were ahead was visible, trash strewn below the board, clearly left by the riders: Gatorade sachets, Juice tetra packs, Cake wrappers. Amidst the debris , Chiddu also found a pair of Sun glasses ! I do hope we riders are more conscious of keeping these beautiful rustic routes in the same pristine condition we have enjoyed. Starting after the Bevanatham control, we came to the Hill, about 5 minutes later. We were debating climbing the hill or not, given the blazing sun, the  decided to drop the idea. But the debate then triggered another welcome halt of 30 min (barely 5 min after a 20 min halt !) at the base of the hill.We saw some mountain goats clambering over near vertical rock faces. There were a lot of tamarind trees, so we plucked some tamarind and ate them with generous doses of salt. I also put some in my bag which I gave to Sandeep and Suman Paul the amazing guy, he turned up to cheer the riders at end control despite both hands being fractured.

We were expecting some climbs after the initial "board one" , and kept looking out for the climbs, but somehow they did not materialize. After a while Chiddu became the "bored one" and started complaining about the lack of climbs. Sandeep who riding his first brevet, and was on board the train at that point said, " Look at the splendid views etc" . Chiddu tried the best to brainwash him saying " Boss, yeh scenery etc sab theek hain, but to enjoy the brevet it has to have some meaningful (read painful) climbs". 

Post the break started the "This part of the route is Influenced by IISc", experienced Bangalore Brevet riders will know what I mean ;-) Mercifully it was a short stretch , and we rolled into Denkanikottai at 2 pm. Took our ATM slips, and since we were not hungry enough for lunch, had some Curd, Egg Puffs and Juice. The cloud cover was back by then, and we had a quick ride to Sagar juice junction in Attibele by 3:30 PM. Had a round of the juice ,we actually looked up the cue sheet to ensure we were having the recommended one. The final stretch was unusually traffic free given the Karnataka Day holiday, so we had a peaceful ride to the end control by 5 pm.

Monday, December 09, 2013

Ranebennur Redux :600 Km Brevet Ride Report

Ride report of the 600 Km BRM done on 30 Nov/1 Dec 2013
1:30 PM Tumkur Tollgate. 

Just 50 Km left to the end point, nearly six hours to do it, life was looking good.

BLAST... My rear tyre rolled over a metal shard, and the tube burst with a loud bang. The metal piece had cut a nearly 2 inch gash in the tyre, pierced through the Tuffy tire liners, and cut the tube beyond repair. Took the spare tube, and a rubber patch and somehow booted the tyre. Tried inflating it, and it was bulging badly even at 60 psi, finally dropped to 35 PSI where it was still bulging but somewhat rideable, with the tire liner keeping the tube from protruding out of the gash. Gingerly got on, and watching the road like a hawk, slowly rode on, afraid of even blinking, lest I miss some debris or bump which would mean the end of a long hard ride just short of the finish line. Did not even stop to eat or drink (and another key thing which I realized at Dinner that night), just pedaled steadily like a crazed man, not sure if I was going to complete this ride. Being a Randonneur, I was trying to tell myself "When the Going gets tough, the tough get going" etc inspirational stuff, but what came through in the black mood was "When the Going gets tough, Life gets miserable".
The ride planning started with me worrying about the lights. During the previous weekend Huliyurdurga 200 BRM, my LED headlight had started flickering , and I suspected a loose contact. Given the nearly 2 nights of riding on the 600, I wanted to make sure the lights are not dodgy. So the ride bike prep for this ride started with a strange set of biking tools- Multimeter and soldering iron. Managed to fix the light, but given the hectic work week, could not look at the rear wheel, there were some clicking sounds I had heard couple of times during the Machinabele dam climb the previous weekend, but did not hear on the flat stretch later in the ride. Took a quick spin on friday evening, lights and the rear wheel seemed to be fine, and I was all set.

Eight of us started off on Saturday 3 am, and we pedaled steadily and quickly got to Tumkur, and stopped for a stretch and pee break. After a minute I was ready to leave, Chiddu says "Damn, forgot I am wearing bib shorts, and a Jersey on top", and then had to do a big exercise rearranging his clothing to do his business, while Sandeep,Sohan etc caught up with us. He had to endure a lot of good natured ribbing from the group about the bib shorts for the rest of the ride. As we neared Sira, the intermittent clicking sound started coming again from my rear wheel, I slowed down a couple of times to figure it out. It seemed to be from the rear hub, I was not carrying a cone wrench so was not in a position to open it up and check. I kept worrying about the sound through the ride, it got worse, till Tumkur when the worry vanished from my radar.
Learning- Quit worrying, what  you worry about is not what really hits you.
Second thoughts- Worrying is good - the Lights worked properly, and on opening the rear hub this weekend, I found a scratched Ball bearing, replacing it in time has hopefully saved the hub.

Got to the Hiriyur control at 11:30 where a procession was going on the road . As we stopped at the ATM, we were surrounded by hordes of curious onlookers, most of them had abandoned the procession, to talk to these strange looking characters. We were peppered with the usual questions- Is this a race ? Is the cycle driven by a battery ? Do the bottles contain petrol ? We quickly got our slips and headed off to a restaurant where the 6 of us had a long and leisurely lunch, the highlight being the Shahi Lassi. Post Hiriyur , the group split up, with bunches of people riding at different paces, and taking breaks to cope with the terrible heat and humidity.The Ranebennur 600 is yet another example of a ride made harder by Chiddus Contrarian syndrome. Just before we started , he famously opined, this ride would be much easier than the monsoon ride ( I did that one too, so I have some basis for comparing). Cyclone Lehar and its aftermath proved how terribly wrong he was.Intense heat and humidity, and strong headwinds on the return journey made it comparable in toughness to the June ride, just the wind was in the opposite direction, and we only had to fight our way out to the halfway mark back then. During the ride, in the mid afternoon, Chiddu and I were asking ourselves the usual question, "Why do we do these rides and suffer" with no good answer, till I heard Sheila Dikshit's post election conference statement "Bewakoof hain na".

Just short of Chitradurga, Sandeep, Sohan and I took a nice break under a tree, saw Chiddu and Karthik go past at good speed. After the break, Sohan wanted to take the bypass, I wanted something cold to drink, so I went through the town, and I did not see any of the others till late evening. At 5 I got to a nice looking "Golden Punjabi " Dhaba, stopped and messaged the others, but got a response from only Sandeep who was just behind me. I saw Sohan go past, but he did not hear my shout, and the Dhaba owner told me he saw two others go past while I was washing my hands (Chiddu and Karthik probably). We had a long break over scrumptious Aloo paranthas, Bhurji and Lassi, in true Punjab style. The Dhaba owner had moved here from Punjab 30 years ago, but they have not lost the authenticity of the food, or the dialect, speaking rustic Punjabi among themselves. I told him about my having done some schooling in Chandigarh, and ability to converse a bit in Punjabi.
Sandeep and I and started off at 6:30,reached the Ranebennur control at 8, and joined the rest of the gang for dinner. Karthick and Chiddu took power naps, the rest were just relaxing over the nice homestyle Khanavali dinner of phulkas and sprouts usal. It was a relaxed and happy group, of all the starters, only Ravindra was not there, and it looked like all of us would finish the ride comfortably by early morning since we were a good 4 hours ahead of the schedule, with Karthik even planning to go finish some work in office after the ride.
Post dinner we started off in a group, till the first Dhaba break for Chai and food. After that the group split up. Karthik and Chiddu were feeling sleepy and kept nodding off, and Silvester who was riding with them kept trying to find alternate company, but we were far ahead of them. Sohan, Sandeep and I rode together and took a power nap on the cement floor outside a closed shop around midnight and then continued on. Sandeep and I reached Chitradurga around 3 Am, had a snack at the bus stand, then another Chai break at the Guilalu toll plaza, and on to Hiriyur, getting there at 6. Took the ATM slips, and rode on to Kamat Sira for a hearty breakfast. It was hot and humid and completely sapping doing all the climbs towards Tumkur. I tried a wet handkerchief, it would dry in minutes, but at least it was shielding the face from the scorching sun even in a dry state. Sandeep took a quick power nap by the roadside, I could not, and got spooked by a bus that went pretty close to Sandeeps head, so I hauled him up, and we started off again. Luckily the long downslopes near Tumkur made the pace get better, along with with a cooling breeze, and we stopped for snacks and water in Tumkur just before 1. With plenty of time, we were in a relaxed mood, intending to just slowly pedal in the heat and get done with the ride. Started off, crossed the Tumkur Toll gate and BLAST.....
Pedaling like a madman, I was watching only two things, the road surface, and the number of Km left to the end control. Finally at 4:40 got to the CCD, and realized I had made it, and even more surprisingly, I was the first one to arrive. In the next two hours, the rest of the gang also made it, except Karthik who dropped at Chitradurga, and Ravindra who quit at Hiriyur. Slowly pedaled back home, and got drenched in the rain as I went past Lalbagh, the same rain which had tantalized us with its promise throughout the ride, but only delivered humidity to torture us when we were desperately looking for a hint of coolness in the afternoon slogs, and finally when it came, was an unwelcome cold torrent mucking up my clothes and bike.

At dinner, Son (glad to turn the tables on me) "Papa This is cheating"
Look at you, I am always told "Please wash your face before eating"
The slow slog after booting the blasted tyre was anything but brief,
And I had forgotten to use Sunscreen and my trusty Handkerchief,
No wonder the Sun had given my Nose(Red),Cheeks(Black) a terrible beating.