Bangalores New Mantra -- R&D

Bangalore has a new Mantra- R&D.

I got a lot of feedback on my bellyaching about Bangalore infrastructure, so I am taking this opportunity to set the record straight and hand out bouquets where due.

If you are envisioning the stunning progress on Research & Development leading to next generation blockbuster medicines/software products/handheld computers etc being rolled out from Bangalore , that is still a reasonably distant dream, we are still mostly cyber coolies despite laudable efforts by a few VC's who are generously doling moolah to startups.

What I am talking about is Roads & Drains --these are the two passions that the new CM of Karnataka has repeatedly spoken about since he took over.

There was an effort by some concerned citizens last year to highlight the plight of bangalore roads through http://www.bangalorepothole.com . Not to be outdone, a me-too site http://www.bangalorepotholes.com/ came up, which lets you use Google search for finding potholes ;-). I guess the next step would be to use Google earth maps to pinpoint potholes ,unless the government objects on grounds of national security and insists on a lower resolution of maps showing potholes.

The CM went a step further and announced a Rs 100 monetary reward for any pothole found by citizens on designated roads, and a fine of Rs 1000 for the BMP engineer responsible for the road. Believe it or not, the Bangalore Municipal Corp has not paid anything so far in the last 2 months (to the citizens I mean, not the engineer) !!

When I repeated this story to someone in Ghaziabad last week, he said, the citizens of Bangalore are not enterprising enough --the Jats of Gzb would have dug up all roads and collected the entire govt treasury ;-)

The CM has also announced plans to perk up Bangalores deplorable night life (pubs close at 11 PM)--via an innovative night inspection of roads and drains. Junta looking for an exciting evening out can just tag along with the CM's convoy as he tours the city examining the infrastructure development done so far.

More power to the CM's elbow I say ;-)

Bangalored - Further travel travails in the garden city

If the maze of one way streets was not enough, there is now a Bangalore version of Russian Roulette played on the roads.

Real incident:

My boss drives from Koramangala to office each day by a particular road.

Goes off to the US for 2 weeks.

Back home , hangs his usual right into the main road and is chugging along when he sees a approaching car in his lane. He ignores it and goes on,only to discover a steady stream of cars in his lane. Unnerved , he stops and shakes his fist at the first car.The driver slows down, unrolls the window and yells " Its a f***ing ONE WAY you moron ".

Needless to say, the signboards turned up only a week after this incident . Oh yes,some of the signboards in Koramangala are only in Kannada ;-)

Come evening , a friend had organized a dawa-daru session with a few other hardy souls we knew , plan being that I meet him at his office on Bannerghatta Road before heading for the watering hole.

6:45 - I step out of my office and hail an auto - auto guy refuses after hearing the destination. More autos -Take 2, take 3 . Fourth attempt the auto fellow just gazes incomprehensibly at me , mutters something and ignores me thereafter.

6:57 - Frantic call to friend elicits this response "Just walk down- it is less than a KM"

I start off - and reach his office 25 min later short of breath and full of smoke and dust. Salient learning's from the exercise :

A ) Bannerghata road is deadlocked from 6-7:30 PM, sane souls(autowallahs esp) do not venture anywhere near it.

B ) The pavement is used exclusively by two-wheelers.

Pedestrians were not to be seen -I guess this life form has become extinct in Bangalore --something to do with Darwin's law and lung cancer I suspect.

On an unrelated note- yesterdays headline was NGO activists protesting the Bangalore Municipal Corporation decision to fell over 700 trees that the corp says are a "Threat to life and property".

And yes if you are wondering what happened to the house - I managed to find one this time- I did resort to hiding my laptop and only volunteering info about relocating from Hyderabad, with nary a mention of the Big O that I work for. Quoted rents fell correspondingly by about 25 % ;-)

The move is symbolically planned for Mayday - Bangalore junta are requested to stand by to bail me out if needed ;-)

Bangalored - The Beginning of the End

The adjective "Bangalored " is commonly used to describe the effect on IT professionals in the US, but there is another less documented facet to being Bangalored - being a lowly paid employee in another Indian city who is transferred to Bangalore.

Update from my end is that I have been Bangalored, effective May 1st.

I went over this week to look at some houses. All landlords sincerely believe :

1 Their house is worth a fortune

2 You are on a expat deal or have migrated back from US with $$ savings to splurge

3 The house is next door to your office

This third phenomenon (delusion ? ) is extremely interesting.

Take for example a flat in JP nagar which is 2 KM from Office by the Bannerghatta Road (aka The Road To Hell). One heaves a sigh of relief on hearing that and sets off. A significant while later the driver is still navigating the maze of one way streets, with the destination nowhere in sight. Actual distance 5-7 km , and travel time 30-60 min depending on how cursed you are.And that is on the "better roads " of the city. Other places including the supposedly hep Koramangala have dirt roads which become unpassable when it rains (weekly), and auto wallahs charge a hazard premium for venturing into such lanes ;-)

No wonder the number of Art Of Living members is increasing exponentially in Bangalore - stress levels on the road are phenomenal.